also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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