If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
