She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
