Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
