That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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