i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
