dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
