i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
