Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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