mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Who died my cat blue again?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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