you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
