I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize