the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
