But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
