bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
