tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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