Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
