Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize