Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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