I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
