stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
