Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
