called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
