don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
