it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
