He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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