Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
