Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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