Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
