dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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