Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
