There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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