hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i jhust puked up my retainher.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
