I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
