so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Everclear isn't food dammit
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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