Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
