somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
