you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize