so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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