Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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