Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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