I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
