Will you blow on my dice?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
