i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All the doctor said was why
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
