Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
