Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
