EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
