just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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