If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
