grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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