Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
