butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
