remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
