Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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