so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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