grandma shit on top of the toilet
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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