Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
