there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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