No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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