I just threw up on my dentist
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
