I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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