So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
