maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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